Love Southend - Day 3

God has set me free, but I don't know how to live as a free man. God teach me to live as a free man!!! - During the worship, this is what I prayed because it's true, and God helped me in that but I've got to learn to do some of it in myself in not going back into my chains which I am quite comfortable in sometimes. I've been freed some times but I just don't know how to live freely and gradually I go back to how I was, but I want to be free. It's like the guy in 'Shawshank Redemption' who when he gets out of prision, he can't handly it and it all ends badly. I wont end up like him, but I'm not sure how to live freely and I can sometimes look and see my chains lying there and it just reminds me of stuff and it makes it hard. But after today, God's made it easier for me. Praise God. I know it's going to be a struggle and a certain amount of re-programming (in a way) is going to have to happen in my life if I'm going to live freely. In my 24 years, and certainly the last (at least) 10 years, I've programmed myself to behave and think in a certain away (also, the way people have treated me) has programmed me and done things to me which has messed me up and that's part of the problem and it's on going and I just have to give it up to God and not take it back.

Anyway, I'm not sure of his name, but it was a Vineyard guy giving the preach today:

Be ready to server at the drop of a hat. Always be ready to serve!!! Wherever you are, light fires (server). Do it wherever you can in whatever way you can. Make a decision to server oneanother (in the church).

When you server, do it as if you aer serving God, not men.

Whenever you can, take the lower seat and let God invite you up. See the jobs that need to be done and do it quietly and with a smile and see what Jesus does for you.

We don't just have to do somethin boring. What do you enjoy doing? That's a good indication of where we can serve. Do something you enjoy. What are you good at? What are your dreams?

"Preach the gospel at every possible time and in every possible way and if all else fails, use words" - he though Spurgeon said this.

After the preach we were given to opportunity to have prayer for faith to go out and do things, it was praying for faith which is something I needed and something I'd been praying for during the worship. God did come through becuase I was praying for faith for letting go of the past (see the above) and I did feel different after - I just need to be living it.

The weather wasn't all that good today but I'm not all that bothered by it - I kinda like working in the light rain and I (don't think) I'd bother if it were pouring down. We were basically finishing off but it too quite a long time (the whole afternoon). It's practially done now and I think maybe an hour more of shovelling the earth and it'd be totally finished.

We had the MP (Member of Parliment) for Southend show up and see what we were doing - alhtough I didn't vote for him ;-) he was a nice guy. Trever (one of the main Love Southend Youth guys) interviewed him for the DVD. A few questions in a Trev asked the inevitable 'What churches do you think are takin part in Love Southend?' to which the MP replied 'Ive only seen Southend Christian Fellowship' (Wrong answer - all Southend churches are taking part) - the next questions came right away 'What do you think about Jesus Christ?' we were tryin to stifle a laugh (me an Jacky) at the directness of the question as well as the braveness of it. We were laughing so much (or stunned) that we didn't hear the answer :( Hopefully tomorrow it will be played on the screen so I'll post the answer :)

Tomorrow we are probably painting a garrage and then finishing off Lournes Close.

It was really good today and I feel we've accomplished a lot. Dinner was really good, and I didn't want to stay for the evening event, I just needed a bath (I still ache). I was shovelling earth and the sweat was running off me, a great feeling doing such hard work and I really enjoy doing it and I've love to do it again. It gives you a great chance to talk to God and to hear from Him and I want to do it again :-)

The batteries ran out in my phone and I didn't get a chance to get any photos of our finished work so I hope I can take some tomorrow.

Well I'm tired and I need sleep, but I'm still takin my brother to work tomorrow.

Faith Camp and Russia are so close, but I just can't think about them at the moment. I'm so enjoying Love Southend Youth and I don't want it to end.

Well, my results for uni are official now, I got the official letter from uni today and it feels good to know those results are official. Yaay!

Good night guys.